"Many forces lead a person to where their present-day self resides. My current story unfolded in a way I never expected. Today I look at all my struggles as the force that encouraged me to my medium, the paintbrush."
“Raven’s Song” by Shawn Huesdash. 12" W x 12" H. Acrylic on Canvas, with Gloss Varnish. $777.
"Earth Water Sky #1" by Shawn Huesdash. 12" W x 12" H. Acrylic on Canvas, with Gloss Varnish. $555.
“Sunflower” by Shawn Huesdash. 18" W x 24" H. Acrylic on Canvas, with Gloss Varnish. $999.
"Earth Water Sky #2" by Shawn Huesdash. 20" W x 24" H. Acrylic on Canvas, with Gloss Varnish. $1111.
“Rise” by Shawn Huesdash. 12" W x 16" H. Acrylic on Canvas, with Gloss Varnish. $888.
“Rad Moon” by Shawn Huesdash. 20" W x 20" H. Acrylic on Canvas, with Gloss Varnish. $1333.
To Purchase Shawn's Work:
Please contact us at 724-238-2310 | [email protected], or stop by 301 West Main St., Ligonier in person!
About the Artist
Many forces lead a person to where their present-day self resides. My current story unfolded in a way I never expected. Today I look at all my struggles as the force that encouraged me to my medium, the paintbrush. Here is a glimpse into my story. It seems like many lives ago, but it all started in 2015 when I was working as a stonemason. The stonework I did was the evolution of an old English/Irish style of dry stack stonework from New England. It was an artwork in itself and the most satisfying work I had ever done. I found such gratitude in this job and loved creating beauty each day. My life was moving forward, I was married, had a great job, and the sky was the limit. Until it wasn't. The truth was I had an ever-present list of health issues that for about a decade became increasingly severe in 2015. My symptoms were debilitating at times I was nearly bedbound and it was uncertain as to the cause.
These issues only increased and for eight years of my life uncertainty and fear surrounded who I was and my future. Fortunately, I had a rock next to me, my then-wife Karuna, who at that time was relentless in aiding my recovery and through countless and tireless work helped me to discover my body was riddled with Lyme disease. It turned out I had contracted this at least a decade prior and the disease took over my body. It changed me. Once calm and collected, I was now filled with fear and Lyme Rage. As the disease had gone undetected for so long, it was a process to rid my body of it. It stole eight years of my life in a way that is indescribable to many. But I fought, we fought. My life moved slowly during those years, and I struggled to regain my strength.
It did move forward and as a way to cope with my emotional outbursts, Karuna introduced me to art therapy. It was the only thing that brought me to a place of relief from the hell I was walking through. And it was not an easy path, most days were overcome with uncertainty, pain, and self-doubt. The painting was slow as my body was healing and movement was difficult. It was so challenging that on the days my body would not let me paint I would use my art as therapy and sit in front of my current work and saturate myself in the colors, staring for hours. In an otherwise dark world, those simple colors and their relationships had a profound effect on me. I found some light, peace, and hope in them. For someone who has not experienced Lyme or the Rage it can create, it is difficult to convey. The paintbrush gave me hope, a start, and a vision for the future of my life. Through the darkness, I kept going and there was a true therapeutic response. For instance, when I began to paint animals, I would feel a little more whole as I slowly constructed them and watched them come to life. Their gazes filled me with strength, as if they were encouraging me to keep going. In my art, I was able to express raw emotion and watch it transform. In the beginning, I had only intended to use art as a form of therapy to help me heal. The intensity of life during this time meant very little thought went into planning. It just felt like a day-to-day survival that lasted forever. However, this art created so much more. An answer, or at least a path forward.
This leads us back to today and my present-day self. I create. I remember my story in my pieces. My passion shows through all I do, working, healing, and painting. I am transforming one day at a time little by little and will continue to do so for years to come.. As this transformation began to take place, my art grew, gave me purpose, and helped me regain self-worth and accomplishment. It has been a life raft for me. I am no longer drowning in my darkness. I am eternally grateful to Karuna for never giving up on me and leading me down this path. It is because of her I am still alive today. Let this light and story inspire you to take another step in your life.
The Lyme RAGE Lyme Rage is something difficult to put into words. It seems surreal and like an ongoing nightmare. But this was my life for over 8 years and most of those years, I still had not discovered that the suffering had been due to Lyme disease. And even after finding the Lyme in my system, it took years to learn about Lyme Rage. If you too have experienced something out of your body that you could not control you may be able to relate.
Rage would strike through me like lightning and take over. The episodes would last for varying amounts of time, sometimes for less than an hour, sometimes for up to 36 hours. When my body finally crashed, I felt as if someone had sucked all my energy out with a syringe. I felt as though weights were weighing me down as I struggled to get off the ground. I would be confined to a closet during the first weeks after an episode. I would experience an indescribable hell-storm inside myself and truly be incapable of resting. It felt like there was something inside of me trying to kill me and I had no control. I felt an unrest, a rage brewing ready to explode at the drop of a dime. Meanwhile, I was exhausted, my fatigue was unbearable and my body was ultra-sensitive, like my skin had been ripped off. I was overwhelmed by heightened senses, whether light, sound, people, or food, the list was never-ending. It truly was a struggle in which every waking moment of my life was spent trying to hold on and find some semblance of healing. In all honesty, just getting up and trying to stay alive every day felt like a full-time job. There were even moments when I wanted to numb the pain with a substance, but I knew even at my worst this was not the answer as I was 16 years sober. It felt like walking through hell. A nightmare that I would never wake up from but I did, and I am slowly rediscovering myself.
I spent most of my time isolated in fear of hurting others and myself. The only contact I had was with my then-wife Karuna, who cared for me and did everything she could to keep us afloat. I owe so much gratitude to her as she relentlessly helped me find the healing I so desperately needed. Even at my worst when I felt like a monster she never left my side. Today thankfully, the Lyme microbe that attributed to my rage is completely out of my system. After feeling crazy, lost, afraid, and alone for so many years, it was difficult to remember how to move forward and put me back into the world. This has been a slow-moving process but with each day and step I create my new normal. I have worked tirelessly to heal and reprogram my nervous system. As I do so I am experiencing a new surreal feeling of having my feet firmly planted on the ground. As a result of this healing, I can share this story with you. A story that took me years to understand myself let alone put it on paper. So thank you for taking the time to read. I have learned so much about who I am but also throughout my journey, I have been blessed to sit with people who hold a healing space with amazing ability. Their focus was not on fixing me or counseling me, but rather on witnessing me. There is a magic that happens when someone truly sees or hears you. And I want to thank them, as there are no words that can truly express my gratitude. What I do know is that we all walk through fires from time to time feeling isolated and alone. Struggles are universal. Life can be hard, no story is less important than another. My intention is to inspire you to process whatever may hold you back. Understand that you are not alone. With this in mind, I offer my story, journey, and art as a way forward. I hope you look inside the art and see that light shines even in the darkest moments.